The story of Lizzie Beth started during the summer of 2013. I was at odd with my parents and was spending the summer in the middle of nowhere Midwest with my even more ultra conservative grandparents. I was so incredibly bored of the status quo. Being everything everyone else wanted me to be. I made my parents proud. My professors impressed. I felt so incredibly boxed in and wanted desperately to just find myself. On the surface this was the living story of the "Poor Little Rich Girl" Which I guess was probably accurate in the beginning. But over the course of two years while I enjoyed all the freedoms being Lizzie Beth afforded me it really morphed into more of my own, personal "Coming of Age" saga.
In the beginning I never could have known how much the connections I made along that journey would completely change my life. I met the most amazing gentleman who really made me realize what a powerful individual I was. I didn't need my parents or anyone else to define me. So many people I met took on such important, impactful roles in my life. Almost more as mentors than the crass, cold "clients." It's so odd to look back at it all now. I'm doubtful those old friends even realized how much of an impact they made on my life, I certainly didn't realize it then. But during my time in the hobby I learned that I could accomplish absolutely anything that I set my mind to. If any of my old friends are reading this, please know that I can't thank you enough! And now that I'm old enough for a drink, I owe you one ;)
Like all good things, my fun as Lizzie Beth eventually had to come to an end. My father passed on and I've mostly severed ties with my extended family. I finished school and started an unbelievable career with one of the top companies in my field. I met a man and said "I do." I became a mother. I left my company and started my own small business. I chair non profits I feel passionate about. I host benefit dinners and mommy & me classes. My list of accomplishments can certainly rival anyone's.
So why do I feel so disconnected? So very, very suffocated. So alone. I have completely lost myself to titles. To being a mom, a wife, a colleague, a host. Who am I outside of these roles? These hats that we all grow up to put on? Please don't mistake this for me bemoaning my poor suburban life. I watch the news and am well aware of how fortunate I am. But is it so awful to long for something more? Something more fulfilling?